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Friday 2 December 2016
Wednesday 30 November 2016
SUNDAY SCHOOL
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she
slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was
napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't
stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin
and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the
teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
.
A while later the
teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord
and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again,
Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted
April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam
after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT
F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP
YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.
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Sunday 20 November 2016
THAILAND - KINGDOM GRIEVES
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PM urges loyalty to Rama X
PM urges loyalty to Rama X
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Prayut says people must always remember His Majesty the late King Bhumibol; plans special activities on Tuesday.
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Prime Minister Prayut Chan-o-cha yesterday urged Thais to show their
allegiance to the next royal head of state while still remembering the
late King Bhumibol Adulyadej.
“We have to do more good deeds in memory of His Majesty the King. I believe His Majesty is still with us somewhere – in the sky, in the water or on the land that he helped restore and preserve. I ask everyone to always remember His Majesty,” Prayut said.
“And also, we should show our allegiance to the next king, Rama X,” he added, referring to the 10th monarch of the Chakri Dynasty.
The prime minister was speaking to local residents and officials during his visit to Pathum Thani, where he inspected a royal project and the progress of a water management plan.
He said the Thais should also look outward in order to deal with global problems that have an impact on the country.
“The world has several issues involving the economy, terrorism, natural disasters, epidemics and changes. We need to look at the outside world, and not just at ourselves. I admire the way we deal with internal problems. We have achieved satisfactory success but I hope we will do better,” General Prayut said.
“We have to work together to overcome the obstacles,” he added.
Meanwhile, the government has called on all Thais to join nationwide activities to be held on Tuesday in memory of the late King.
Government House will be the main venue for the activity, to be led by PM Prayut. People from all over the country can take part at designated venues in their respective provinces, Government Spokesman Lt-General Sansern Kaewkamnerd said yesterday.
“The prime minister would lead his Cabinet members and government officials to sing the National Anthem at 8am on Tuesday. Then he will lead the participants to take an oath of allegiance in front of His Majesty’s portrait and sing the Royal Anthem,” said Sansern.
The spokesman said the event at Government House would be broadcast live from 6.30am. Thais living abroad can hold commemorative activities on Sunday or |any day of their convenience, he added.
Mourners heading to the Grand Palace to bid a final farewell to the monarch can also join the PM-led activity, as the city administration will arrange a venue for the participants, Prime Minister’s Office Minister Suwaphan Tanyuvardhana said.
“The additional activity at Sanam Luang will not affect the mourners queuing to enter the Grand Palace,” Suwapan, who also serves as secretary of the government’s Command Centre for Monitoring Situations, told a press briefing yesterday.
Regarding traffic management, of the 27 roads around Sanam Luang that were closed on previous weekends, only eight will be closed today and tomorrow, Suwapan said. The decision came after the centre assessed traffic volume in the area and found no mass event being held near the Grand Palace this weekend which could obstruct transportation for the mourners, he explained.
Suwapan asked people not to park their vehicles along roads around Sanam Luang and instead use public transportation or free shuttle buses to travel to the Grand Palace.
Deputy national police spokesman Pol Maj-General Piyapan Pingmuang yesterday confirmed that only eight roads adjacent to the Grand Palace that were closed to traffic to accommodate mourners would stay off-limits for vehicles.
He said the lifting of 27 road-closures came as “things have fallen into place”.
Updates on the matter are available at the Traffic Police Division’s website, www.trafficpolice.go.th, and its hotline 1197, according to the spokesman. Suwapan yesterday said that in an attempt to manage long queues and the huge numbers of people heading to Sanam Luang, the centre in cooperation with the Ministry of Digital Economy and Society had finished developing an online reservation system for queue management.
The online system will be tested on December 1, he said, adding the implementation plan has not yet rolled out and is pending further discussion.
Regarding the issue of homeless people around Sanam Luang, Suwapan said their number has decreased due to the cooperation of the Ministry of Social Development and Human Security.
According to the ministry statement issued yesterday, tactics used to tackle the homeless vary. These include sending them back to their original residence, to the ministry shelter Ban Mit Maitree for rehabilitation, or to related organisations for proper treatment.
“We have to do more good deeds in memory of His Majesty the King. I believe His Majesty is still with us somewhere – in the sky, in the water or on the land that he helped restore and preserve. I ask everyone to always remember His Majesty,” Prayut said.
“And also, we should show our allegiance to the next king, Rama X,” he added, referring to the 10th monarch of the Chakri Dynasty.
The prime minister was speaking to local residents and officials during his visit to Pathum Thani, where he inspected a royal project and the progress of a water management plan.
He said the Thais should also look outward in order to deal with global problems that have an impact on the country.
“The world has several issues involving the economy, terrorism, natural disasters, epidemics and changes. We need to look at the outside world, and not just at ourselves. I admire the way we deal with internal problems. We have achieved satisfactory success but I hope we will do better,” General Prayut said.
“We have to work together to overcome the obstacles,” he added.
Meanwhile, the government has called on all Thais to join nationwide activities to be held on Tuesday in memory of the late King.
Government House will be the main venue for the activity, to be led by PM Prayut. People from all over the country can take part at designated venues in their respective provinces, Government Spokesman Lt-General Sansern Kaewkamnerd said yesterday.
“The prime minister would lead his Cabinet members and government officials to sing the National Anthem at 8am on Tuesday. Then he will lead the participants to take an oath of allegiance in front of His Majesty’s portrait and sing the Royal Anthem,” said Sansern.
The spokesman said the event at Government House would be broadcast live from 6.30am. Thais living abroad can hold commemorative activities on Sunday or |any day of their convenience, he added.
Mourners heading to the Grand Palace to bid a final farewell to the monarch can also join the PM-led activity, as the city administration will arrange a venue for the participants, Prime Minister’s Office Minister Suwaphan Tanyuvardhana said.
“The additional activity at Sanam Luang will not affect the mourners queuing to enter the Grand Palace,” Suwapan, who also serves as secretary of the government’s Command Centre for Monitoring Situations, told a press briefing yesterday.
Regarding traffic management, of the 27 roads around Sanam Luang that were closed on previous weekends, only eight will be closed today and tomorrow, Suwapan said. The decision came after the centre assessed traffic volume in the area and found no mass event being held near the Grand Palace this weekend which could obstruct transportation for the mourners, he explained.
Suwapan asked people not to park their vehicles along roads around Sanam Luang and instead use public transportation or free shuttle buses to travel to the Grand Palace.
Deputy national police spokesman Pol Maj-General Piyapan Pingmuang yesterday confirmed that only eight roads adjacent to the Grand Palace that were closed to traffic to accommodate mourners would stay off-limits for vehicles.
He said the lifting of 27 road-closures came as “things have fallen into place”.
Updates on the matter are available at the Traffic Police Division’s website, www.trafficpolice.go.th, and its hotline 1197, according to the spokesman. Suwapan yesterday said that in an attempt to manage long queues and the huge numbers of people heading to Sanam Luang, the centre in cooperation with the Ministry of Digital Economy and Society had finished developing an online reservation system for queue management.
The online system will be tested on December 1, he said, adding the implementation plan has not yet rolled out and is pending further discussion.
Regarding the issue of homeless people around Sanam Luang, Suwapan said their number has decreased due to the cooperation of the Ministry of Social Development and Human Security.
According to the ministry statement issued yesterday, tactics used to tackle the homeless vary. These include sending them back to their original residence, to the ministry shelter Ban Mit Maitree for rehabilitation, or to related organisations for proper treatment.
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Source: TheNation
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Saturday 19 November 2016
PARIS, PHUKET, BANGKOK ORIGINAL MAGAZINE
PARIS, PHUKET, BANGKOK ORIGINAL MAGAZINE
We offer you the opportunity to advertise in our Magazine.
We just take over this already famous magazine, what also to see is in the online version. https://issuu.com/leparisphuket/
The real magazines we spread out all over Thailand, in the big cities / hotels and restaurants / events.
(After whole Asia)
The option to advertise is 3 months / halve year / or full year
Ask for more information’s about your options.
https://www.facebook.com/parisphuketbangkokmag/
Original website coming very soon. (also for banner advertisers)
These a a few pages from November Edition 57
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Wednesday 16 November 2016
THAILAND - King’s holidays to remain
A large crowd of football fans form the shape of
the Thai number “9” to mourn His Majesty the late King Bhumibol
Adulyadej, who is also known as King Rama IX, upon their arrival at the
Rajamangala National Stadium yesterday.
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Events including oath-taking planned to honour monarch
PRIME MINISTER Prayut Chan-o-cha said yesterday
that the government would retain holidays related to His Majesty King
Bhumibol Adulyadej, while the Cabinet approved activities for next
Tuesday to express loyalty to the late monarch on the occasion of his
89th birthday on December 5.
The calendar would have to be adjusted after the new reign commences, officials said, adding that the Royal Household Bureau would take care of the details.
However, holidays linked to the late King Rama IX will remain, although with some name changes, because of His Majesty’s profound influence on Thailand, the PM said.
Officials were discussing the matter and everything was proceeding in steps, so the public should remain calm, Prayut said.
He added that he would wait for an appropriate time after the royal funeral to humbly offer His Majesty the posthumous title of “Bhumibol Maharaj”, or “Bhumibol the Great”.
People should not move too fast on such matters to raise public awareness or collect donations, he said.
Steps such as building a monument or offering a designation to the late monarch would require the Cabinet’s approval and the Royal Household Bureau’s endorsement.
The Cabinet is now working to ensure order in the country Horror Monarch
The calendar would have to be adjusted after the new reign commences, officials said, adding that the Royal Household Bureau would take care of the details.
However, holidays linked to the late King Rama IX will remain, although with some name changes, because of His Majesty’s profound influence on Thailand, the PM said.
Officials were discussing the matter and everything was proceeding in steps, so the public should remain calm, Prayut said.
He added that he would wait for an appropriate time after the royal funeral to humbly offer His Majesty the posthumous title of “Bhumibol Maharaj”, or “Bhumibol the Great”.
People should not move too fast on such matters to raise public awareness or collect donations, he said.
Steps such as building a monument or offering a designation to the late monarch would require the Cabinet’s approval and the Royal Household Bureau’s endorsement.
The Cabinet is now working to ensure order in the country Horror Monarch
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Tuesday 15 November 2016
THAILAND - Officials appeal to public as mourners queue for 10 hours
Concerns over fairness of online system as people cut in line
OFFICIALS YESTERDAY asked for public suggestion
on queue management at the Grand Palace after they found people waiting
up to 10 hours on Sunday to say goodbye to the late King, despite
continuing efforts to reduce waiting times.
“If anyone has ideas or best practices on how to better manage queues by deploying an offline and online queue registration system, please do not hesitate to tell us. We will give you credit if your suggestion is implemented,” said Maj-General Pongsawat Panchit, deputy commander of the First Region Army and deputy head of the Joint Administration of Security and Order Maintaining for the Grand Palace Vicinity (JSO).
Pongsawat’s comments at a press briefing followed mounting public concern over poor queue management, leading to day-long waits for people of all ages to get inside the Dusit Maha Prasat Throne Hall to pay tribute to His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej, who peacefully passed away on October 13.
As more than 20,000 people are entering the Grand Palace each day, with longer queues on weekends and holidays, the JSO has coordinated with the Ministry of Digital Economy and Society to develop an online system for mourners to reserve places to get inside the complex. The system is slated to be implemented this month and start running on a trial basis on December 1.
However, the system has raised concerns that people would not be able to access it because it was online.
“Taking this concern into consideration, we are still thinking about how to fairly apply the online system. Imagine, many people come without online registration in the early morning, wait for long hours, and those who register online just come and can cut into the lines and get inside right the way. This is going to hurt the waiting people’s feelings. We have to find ways that can manage people’s feelings,” Pongsawat said.
Pongsawat said the day-long queues were mainly the result of many people arriving at Sanam Luang, the park opposite the Grand Palace, at the same time.
“If anyone has ideas or best practices on how to better manage queues by deploying an offline and online queue registration system, please do not hesitate to tell us. We will give you credit if your suggestion is implemented,” said Maj-General Pongsawat Panchit, deputy commander of the First Region Army and deputy head of the Joint Administration of Security and Order Maintaining for the Grand Palace Vicinity (JSO).
Pongsawat’s comments at a press briefing followed mounting public concern over poor queue management, leading to day-long waits for people of all ages to get inside the Dusit Maha Prasat Throne Hall to pay tribute to His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej, who peacefully passed away on October 13.
As more than 20,000 people are entering the Grand Palace each day, with longer queues on weekends and holidays, the JSO has coordinated with the Ministry of Digital Economy and Society to develop an online system for mourners to reserve places to get inside the complex. The system is slated to be implemented this month and start running on a trial basis on December 1.
However, the system has raised concerns that people would not be able to access it because it was online.
“Taking this concern into consideration, we are still thinking about how to fairly apply the online system. Imagine, many people come without online registration in the early morning, wait for long hours, and those who register online just come and can cut into the lines and get inside right the way. This is going to hurt the waiting people’s feelings. We have to find ways that can manage people’s feelings,” Pongsawat said.
Pongsawat said the day-long queues were mainly the result of many people arriving at Sanam Luang, the park opposite the Grand Palace, at the same time.
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Health issues
“On Sunday, 20,000 people arrived at the field at the same time, around 7am. With a limited capacity to allow 2,000 people per hour to enter the Grand Palace, the last person who had waited since the morning would be able to get inside after 10 hours had passed,” he said.
People were advised to visit the Grand Palace in a staggered manner each day. People who live in Bangkok, including those living near the Grand Palace, should come in the afternoon rather than in the morning rush hours.
The Bangkok Metropolitan Administration has set up dozens of tents to form seven indoor queues on the field to mitigate exposure to the sun.
Nevertheless, people are still cutting into lines and dozens of others pass out each day while waiting because of the heat or pre-existing health issues.
Pongsawat urged people to have sympathy for others and help each other while in queues.
He said the Royal Household Bureau was also concerned over people with poor health queuing.
Pongsawat recommended that sick people stay at home so their condition did not worsen.
Metropolitan Police Bureau deputy chief Maj-General Ittipol Piriyapinyo urged visitors to bring their identity cards or passports as they were required at security checkpoints around Sanam Luang.
Regarding increasing requests from organisations asking to arrange activities in memory of the King, Pongsawat said a committee chaired by a representative of the Ministry of Culture would consider activities and approve those that are appropriate to be held at Sanam Luang.
“On Sunday, 20,000 people arrived at the field at the same time, around 7am. With a limited capacity to allow 2,000 people per hour to enter the Grand Palace, the last person who had waited since the morning would be able to get inside after 10 hours had passed,” he said.
People were advised to visit the Grand Palace in a staggered manner each day. People who live in Bangkok, including those living near the Grand Palace, should come in the afternoon rather than in the morning rush hours.
The Bangkok Metropolitan Administration has set up dozens of tents to form seven indoor queues on the field to mitigate exposure to the sun.
Nevertheless, people are still cutting into lines and dozens of others pass out each day while waiting because of the heat or pre-existing health issues.
Pongsawat urged people to have sympathy for others and help each other while in queues.
He said the Royal Household Bureau was also concerned over people with poor health queuing.
Pongsawat recommended that sick people stay at home so their condition did not worsen.
Metropolitan Police Bureau deputy chief Maj-General Ittipol Piriyapinyo urged visitors to bring their identity cards or passports as they were required at security checkpoints around Sanam Luang.
Regarding increasing requests from organisations asking to arrange activities in memory of the King, Pongsawat said a committee chaired by a representative of the Ministry of Culture would consider activities and approve those that are appropriate to be held at Sanam Luang.
Source: TheNation
THAILAND - Thousands queue as Culture Ministry distributes free books commemorating late King
THOUSANDS of people started queuing at 3am to receive free copies of two books commemorating their much-beloved King Bhumibol Adulyadej, prompting the Culture Ministry to hand them out three hours early.
“We had planned to start the distribution in the afternoon,” Culture Minister Vira Rojpojchanarat said yesterday.
However, by 10am, the line had reached Pinklao Bridge, several kilometres away from the National Museum.
The books are “King Bhumibol Adulyadej”, a retrospection on the late monarch’s life and royal works, and “99 Royal Teachings”, an anthology of his teachings.
After His Majesty passed away at the age of 89 on October 13, memorabilia about him has been much sought after. When the Culture Ministry revealed the plan to hand out the free copies, people turned out in huge numbers to make sure they got a copy.
The ministry gave away 40,000 copies yesterday and will continue at that rate every day till its stock of 200,000 copies is gone.
The delivery times are 9am, noon, 3pm and 5pm each day.
The “99 Royal Teachings” was published as a pocketbook so that readers can carry it everywhere, making them feel like the much-loved monarch is always with them.
“We have prepared easy-to-understand contents…It makes clear why Thais love the late King so much,” he said.
However, by 10am, the line had reached Pinklao Bridge, several kilometres away from the National Museum.
The books are “King Bhumibol Adulyadej”, a retrospection on the late monarch’s life and royal works, and “99 Royal Teachings”, an anthology of his teachings.
After His Majesty passed away at the age of 89 on October 13, memorabilia about him has been much sought after. When the Culture Ministry revealed the plan to hand out the free copies, people turned out in huge numbers to make sure they got a copy.
The ministry gave away 40,000 copies yesterday and will continue at that rate every day till its stock of 200,000 copies is gone.
The delivery times are 9am, noon, 3pm and 5pm each day.
The “99 Royal Teachings” was published as a pocketbook so that readers can carry it everywhere, making them feel like the much-loved monarch is always with them.
“We have prepared easy-to-understand contents…It makes clear why Thais love the late King so much,” he said.
Lessons for children
The two books also include well-printed royal portraits, including rare images.
The project was in response to Prime Minister Prayut Chan-o-cha’s instruction to immortalise His Majesty.
“I hope the two valuable books will benefit all the owners in that they can follow the late King’s teachings,” said Saimai Jobkolsuek, a member of the advisory staff for language, document and literature from the Royal Household Bureau.
Vira said his ministry plans more printings for free distribution if sponsors come forward.
The Government Saving Bank, for example, has already donated Bt5 million.
“We expect to publish up to 1 million copies for each book,” he said.
Saimai said all the King’s speeches were valuable with a great philosophy.
“They are very practical too,” he said.
Recipients of the commemorative books were overjoyed. “I will put the books on my altar at home. The royal teachings will guide my life,” said Natruja Sapchaloem, 49.
“I want to keep everything about the late King as much as I can because I really miss him.”
Jintana Pinjorn, 51, said she would read the books aloud to her children. “That way, they will know fully why I love the King so much.”
Orrawan Miangmook, 76, said she intended to preach the royal wisdom to her children.
A 57-year-old housewife from Bangkok, Waraporn Piangpairoon, said the books provided by the Culture Ministry were especially precious because they were something “money could not buy”.
Source: TheNation
The two books also include well-printed royal portraits, including rare images.
The project was in response to Prime Minister Prayut Chan-o-cha’s instruction to immortalise His Majesty.
“I hope the two valuable books will benefit all the owners in that they can follow the late King’s teachings,” said Saimai Jobkolsuek, a member of the advisory staff for language, document and literature from the Royal Household Bureau.
Vira said his ministry plans more printings for free distribution if sponsors come forward.
The Government Saving Bank, for example, has already donated Bt5 million.
“We expect to publish up to 1 million copies for each book,” he said.
Saimai said all the King’s speeches were valuable with a great philosophy.
“They are very practical too,” he said.
Recipients of the commemorative books were overjoyed. “I will put the books on my altar at home. The royal teachings will guide my life,” said Natruja Sapchaloem, 49.
“I want to keep everything about the late King as much as I can because I really miss him.”
Jintana Pinjorn, 51, said she would read the books aloud to her children. “That way, they will know fully why I love the King so much.”
Orrawan Miangmook, 76, said she intended to preach the royal wisdom to her children.
A 57-year-old housewife from Bangkok, Waraporn Piangpairoon, said the books provided by the Culture Ministry were especially precious because they were something “money could not buy”.
Source: TheNation
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